An Apple A Day In So Many Ways

April 8, 2019

Apples are one of the most common, versatile fruits, but we often get lost in the same way of eating them. Here is a little inspiration for how to change it up: 

 

1: The test-your-strength finger rest hard-core head chop
    For anyone who wishes to not only have a snack but also show off a little or does not have a knife handy, this is the perfect method. First, get your apple, a firm one with an even base works best for this method, and set it on a hard surface, stem side up. Make sure to remove the stem as it will get in the way of the following steps. Second, take any finger, usually the pointer, and rest it on top of the apple to where it is separating the apple in about two half circles. Third, quickly slam your forehead onto your finger breaking the apple in half. This step can also be done by using a fist to slam the finger into the apple rather than the forehead. 

 

2: Waste not, want not
    This method is great if there isn’t a waste disposal area handy, you’re very hungry, or want to make yourself sick. First, remove the stem. Second, start at the top of the apple and start eating until about the top fourth of it is gone all the way around. Continue eating down in layers, including the core and seeds, and don’t stop until the whole apple is gone. 

 

3: Easy peasy apple squeezy
    Tired of simply just eating your apples? This method will allow you to get the full value of an apple but in a completely different form. First, grab a couple of apples, a couple of large ziplock bags, a clean t-shirt, a large bowl, and your car. Second, throw the apples into a ziplock, and seal it, making sure to get as much of the air in the bag out as possible before doing so. Continue to re-bag the previous zip-lock a couple of times, which will ensure full apple containment. Third, grab the multi-bagged apples, go outside to your car, put them under your back tire, and back over them. This step can be repeated until the apples have reached your desired consistency. Fourth, drape your t-shirt over the bowl, fully covering it, dump the apples onto the t-shirt, and squeeze the shirt around the apples so it drains the juice and gathers the “pulp.” Fifth, dump the juice over a glass of ice, enjoy, and save the “pulp” for our next method.

 

4: Pancakes
    First, take the apple mash from the previous method. Second, prepare box pancake mix as directed, throw in some of the apple from the previous step, and a teaspoon of cinnamon. Cook to your preference and enjoy!

 

*resulting injury or illness is not the fault of the growl or article author*

 

 

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